Trials with Grandma Schroeder

I have been struggling with some feelings about Grandma Schroeder, Gary's mom, lately. She is getting deep into the complicated world of Alzheimers, and it is coming fast. For those with experience with this complicated and devistating disorder, it is not a fun reality to look forward too. She has always been a cantankerous little lady anyway, to have this come into her live, and ours, is not something I look forward too. Gary being the only child, causes me, as the only daughter in law, to feel obligated to make sure things go well for her and for my own family. Lots of decisions and choices when it comes to this. Right now she is still living at the Golden Living Center, an assisted living home, which is working out ok. Last week I had to leave work on two different days to take her to the doctor. We have a home health nurse visit her 3 times a day to do her sugars and give her insulin. Last tuesday the nurse was concerned that Ilene might be getting a cellulitis in her left ankle...with a doctors visit and ultrasound of that ankle, the doctor just thinks it is "old warn out veins". I went over and cleaned and reorganized her room and drawers. While I was out doing some shopping for her, she took a shower (with help). I came back and found her combing her hair with her toothbrush...never fear, I had just bought her 2 new toothbrushes!! I found some unmentionable things in her drawers (unmentionable because you wouldn't want to know), crazy things like she can't have extra garbage bags in her room because she ties them around her waist or neck, she doesn't remember to wear certain pieces of clothing..you can imagine..doesn't eat well anymore, just very confused all the time. My worry is, we aren't in a position to bring her home, no room in the Inn so to speak...I can't afford to give up my job as well. We are looking into home health nurses to watch her while I work,(I work from 8am to 1pm daily), hospice care at home, anything that will be with her while I am away. She would be dangerous to leave by herself. I just have such sick feelings about all of this...she hasn't always been very nice to our kids, like I said very cantankerous all their lives, but we are willing to be of whatever service we can for her. I am feeling so much pressure with all of this. I really didn't want to blog about it, but it feels good to let it out somewhat. My other alternative is to have these horrible headaches..and I am tired of those. Sorry for this downer of a blog...I'll do better


This is a picture at the duck pond with my mom...we went walking around the pond while the ladies sat and enjoyed the beauty....only, my mom had a very interesting experience with Ilene while we were away...(some things are funny, you know, you just gotta laugh) Ilene decided to stand up and take off her blouse...for whatever reason...my mom freaked out and told her she needed to put her cloths back on etc...I wish I were a bug on the wall at that time...when she was telling me the story I was just cracking up and mom was so intense and frustrated...it really was funny....anyway, life goes on!!