Funeral for a man I didn't know......

Well, we went to the funeral for my dad, DRay Fullmer today. I was kind of sad, actually really sad for a million reasons.....first being, this man was my father that I never got to know, and I actually would have loved knowing him. Second, he not only cheated me out of having a father, but a family (his family in Delta) that are actually great people. I met cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles etc that loved and adored this man for many years. They talked about what a "gentle, kind and loving" man he was....how they were so impressed at his talent playing basketball...he won several awards and acclimation's playing for Delta High School as well as BYU playing with great men such as Mel Hutchins, (his name was brought up several times...I don't know who he is) as well as winning the Mountain States Conference Championship 1947-1948... Lots of tears were shed for this man, mainly because they loved him and will miss him...me, well, I have shed tears for years...I have missed him forever...today, I shed tears because I just felt cheated, that he didn't care enough, that I didn't get to know the man everybody was talking about, that I went all these years without this family...the Fullmer's.......they seem to be good people and he kept them from me. I will get over the hurt someday, I know I want to keep in some kind of contact with these people if they want....I don't know, it is sad.........this was a sad day, and not only because DRay died............he took something from me so long ago, something special. Remember, love your kids, they need you and no matter what anyone says, kids aren't that resilient... they don't just bounce back..they move on, struggle, make good and bad choices, but the hurt stays a long time......real long time. Nobody should feel the abandonment of a parent, no matter what happens in life...we move on but the hurt is buried deep inside and festers up now and again...Anyway, this dreaded day is over and I will move on again....no matter what, I will find Joy in this Journey....that's what we are supposed to do, and I will.................